Monday, August 4, 2014
I've been travelling through some of the hottest countries in the world during one of the hottest times of the year. I spent three days in Jodhpur, India and I wanted to die. It was so hot. I went exploring through the old city with some friends for about two hours and then I felt so sick that I thought I was going to vomit. I sat with my head between my knees on a street corner thinking, "DON'T PUKE DON'T PUKE, YOU ARE IN CONTROL. YOUR BODY IS YOUR SERVANT. YOU ARE THE MASTER. BREATHE. NO SUDDEN MOVEMENTS. DON'T PUKE.'
Thankfully, I did not puke. I got into an air-conditioned cab, and when we got back to the hostel I promptly crawled into my bunk and napped. After that I spent a day eating digestive biscuits and decided I needed to get the hell out of Rajasthan.
And then I went to Egypt! And headed south to Luxor, where it was EVEN HOTTER than Cairo. I win again! I went on a tour for about 4 hours which, thank god, involved transporting us around in an air-conditioned car. It was almost 49°C outside and after walking around ancient temples and tombs all morning and afternoon I was ready to have a second shower and a nap.
My second day in Luxor was actually spent mostly napping and lying in my bed, because fuck the Karnak temple, I'm not paying to wander around a temple in that heat. I was content to just lie on a bed and sweat from the effort of breathing instead.
When I arrived in Jordan last week and checked the forecast and saw the temperature was a high of 31°C I almost cried with joy. ONLY THIRTY ONE DEGREES CELSIUS? HELLE-FUCKING-LUJAH. I was so happy I do not even have words for you.
That said, it's still hot. It's over thirty and I'm still not actually adapted yet. And so I walk around these countries, sweating profusely, dreaming of this ice cream and wishing I could get avocados over here because, oh my god, I miss them.
But hey, you probably have access to avocados! And strawberries! And limes! And definitely tequila. Also, you probably have a freezer. If you have all these things, and a blender, YOU ARE SET my friend. Get to work and make yourself some god damn refreshingly delicious (and vegan!) ice cream! And be thankful that you are not sweating as much as me.