Egg Salad, My Way

I used to think egg salad was grotesque. The texture, the smell, the sound of it - I couldn't stand it. As far as I was concerned, it was an egg mixture that had been mayonnaised to death. When I worked in a restaurant, making egg salad sandwiches to order was one of my most loathed tasks. I handled it as if it were poisonous; getting any of it on my hands was enough to almost to send me into a girly fit of "EW EW OHMYGOD GETITOFF GETITOFF!" Thankfully, I always resisted that urge. There was my dignity to consider, after all. And I always want to slap anyone who runs around screaming in such a ridiculous manner - unless there happens to be a spider involved. Although were I involved in such a situation, I would probably be yelling things too inappropriate to quote here.

But here I am, posting about egg salad. How did this happen?

Well, hunger happened. In the Montreal airport, where you can either buy a fruit cup from Starbucks for the price of your soul or purchase a caesar salad at the bar joint for twenty dollars, and it will be so measly sized that you might as well be feeding a gerbil on a diet.

The only decently priced place to buy food from in that airport is Tim Hortons, but at this aforementioned time, a bagel didn't seem like it would quite cut it. I was starving, and I wasn't in the mood to eat a 20-pack of Timbits. So I took the plunge and ordered the egg salad - how bad could it be anyways? I like eggs. I don't dislike mayonnaise, as long as it's used within reason. I like bread. So I ate it.

And I did not die. And while I was not transformed into a raving fan (at least of Tim's egg salad - there was a hint of horseradish in it that I did not appreciate) I could suddenly see the potential of the dish.

So I began making egg salad sandwiches, only I used yogurt instead of mayonnaise. It was a quick and convenient thing to make for lunch, and I appreciated its total lack of fussiness. However, a day came when I was running late and making lunch in a rush, and realized I had no yogurt and my egg salad was not going to hold together and I had to get going - I mean really get my ass out of the door already - and god dang it all I was going to be left with mashed eggs and bread for lunch.

But then genius struck - tahini! It's creamy, nutty, delicious, but most importantly, it would save my egg salad from failure. Then I remembered I had fresh parsley in the fridge, and voila, I had very unintentionally created my favourite egg salad. And so here it is, egg salad, done my way.

Strawberry Lime Smoothie

I've probably already whined enough about the summer heat, which is (at least for me) fairly intense here in Toronto. Of course, I could be in Cambodia or India, where I am convinced I would not survive. It would be a horrifying re-enactment of the Wicked Witch of the West's death, and while that's an entertaining enough scene in Technicolor, nobody wants to see that in real life.

Which is why smoothies like this become so important during this time of year. They're nutritional, delicious, and cooling. I am not a seasonal smoothie consumer (I eat them on a near daily basis, all year round), so in cooler months I often have to don a sweater whilst eating them. They literally make me shiver with cold - which is what makes them perfect for this time of year, because instead of bringing you to the brink of pneumonia, they cool you down to a temperature that feels livable.

The lime in this smoothie is especially refreshing - there's just something about citrus that feels like summer, but in a way that's bright and zingy, not droopy and sweaty (which is how I feel most of the time throughout July and August). I've been putting lime in just about everything lately - water, salad dressings...alcoholic beverages. Just try adding a squeeze or two of lime juice to your bottle of water - it's amazing how much more refreshing it is with that bitter, citrusy kick.

But I should probably stop my lime speech before I break into "Put the lime in the coconut and drink it -"

Oops. Too late. Although, that does sound like a fantastic idea. I will put the lime in the coconut and drink it all up. Thank you pop culture!

But in the meantime, have a smoothie.

Wordless Wednesday: Pride Parade 2012

This is a bit late, but hey, it's never too late to stop celebrating the awesomeness of Pride!

Carrot & Brown Rice Bowl with Cumin Yogurt Dressing

Ah, summer. The time of the year to sit and drink sangria on patios, wear gigantic floppy hats, splurge on cute summer dresses, and spend days at the beach, burying your friends in sand and giving them sand breasts. (Don't pretend like you're too mature to not find giving your guy friends sand breasts funny.)

It is also, however, the time of year when people like to walk around the streets topless (and while I admire their comfortableness with their own bodies and disregard for societal norms, I do not always admire their physique), the action of blinking induces a sweat, and the night life heats up so that random drunk people are more likely to wander onto your porch at 1 am and try and watch Aladdin with you. (Because don't we all watch cartoons on the porch late at night?)

So I mentioned the heat, right? And yes, I am going to be so mundane as to whine about the weather. I'm like a lizard - both heat and cold effect me with equally unpleasant results. Heat and humidity cause me to melt into a puddle of sweat and unpleasantness. Even doing awesome things, like watching the Pride Parade, do little to minimize the intense discomfort and major awkwardness of feeling sweat run down your legs. My friend, who had the misfortune to attend said parade with me, was subjected to what I admit was a rather explicit commentary on the state of my bodily affairs.

I will be the first to admit it: I do not cope well with the heat. I stick to the shady sides of the street, I run only when I have to or if it is late at night or early enough in the morning to not risk heat stroke or death by doing so, frequently run my hands and arms under cold water, and sometimes I even take a bag of ice with me to bed. And I certainly won't turn the oven on if I don't have to. So, cookies and cake in the summertime? Not so much, unless I'm feeling particularly masochistic.

And that's how meals like this happen. I'm hot, tired, have a dwindling supply of food in the fridge, and I'm in no mood to trek anywhere to buy any more produce or ingredient of any kind, so I make use of what I have. And sometimes it turns out to be not too shabby, and even worth sharing.

Pumpkin Hummus

As of this past Friday, I can proudly announce, I am FREE. FREE AT LAST. I have finished my Master's Degree in English Literature. Well, not technically, since final grades are not in and convocation won't be for months BUT THAT IS IRRELEVANT. I am done. No more class. No more papers. No more literary theory. Unless I fail at life in the real world, become destitute and depressed, and then decide to pursue a PhD.

I don't think that will ever happen, but you never know. We live in crazy times.

In other good news: hummus! Pumpkin Hummus, to be precise. Which is totally awesome and tastes great with fresh, crunchy veggies, not to mention in wraps, on toast...you get the idea. I have made this type of hummus many times, and it has always been well received - even by non-hummus lovers.

I could try to wax eloquently on about pumpkin hummus, it's nutritional benefits (it's orange! Betacarotene! it will make you see in the dark! or it will turn you orange), and it's deliciousness...but my brain is burnt out, and telling me things like, "Nutella is a food group!" and "Watching terrible, terrible 80's movies is not a bad life choice."

So I'm going to just step back, and let you experience the hummus for yourself.